To share or not to share
Will you divulge your baby's name to friends and family before he or she is born? Only you can decide, but here are the pros and cons. When you share names, you find out how people react to them, which may be important to know before your child is saddled with that name for a lifetime. You can also ask other parents whether it's becoming too trendy and get alternatives. Perhaps most important, you can claim it as your own before someone else in your circle of friends does.

Unfortunately, when you tell people your top name choice, you'll often hear how much they hate it or that they knew some schoolyard bully by that same name years ago. No one needs to hear that! If you wait until after the baby is born, people may be less likely to offer up negative associations, but some still will. Of course, you may have to stand silently by while your cousin Judy steals the name you've cherished since grade school, but if you already know the sex of your child, withholding the name gives you a big surprise to share on delivery day.



When we had our first child, we decided on the name Gabriel as soon as we got the ultrasound and told everyone the name right away. That was nice, because our parents accepted it and stopped pestering us with suggestions! But when we were expecting our second child, we couldn't agree on a name and decided that we didn't want to share potential candidates with anyone until we were sure ourselves. We asked Gabriel, then 2 years old, what he thought of this name for his teddy bear or that name for his stuffed elephant, but never told him what we were thinking of naming the baby. That was good, because as the due date drew near, people started asking him for hints. He couldn't spoil the surprise because he simply didn't know it.